Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
