Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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