garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
