I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
