i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
