holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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