There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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