I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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