laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
