I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize