you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
