it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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