Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
