so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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