Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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