New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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