He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
