Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
