We won't sleep together?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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