shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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