so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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