i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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