You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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