last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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