my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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