Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
