I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
