they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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