u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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