Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize