I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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