I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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