you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
