"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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