i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
