whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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