So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize