At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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