Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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