I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just had sex on a roof
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
