yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Barsexuality is the new black.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How naked do you want me to be?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize