I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
