home. puking in laundry basket.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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