I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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