census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
