So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
