Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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