i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
