then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
