Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
