Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
