How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
