how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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