I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
