She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
