it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
