i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Randomize
