Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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