So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
