i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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