the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
