Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
