It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My dad just said "fuck circus"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
