I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
