did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
